.Pacific Sun

The Pacific Sun publishes every Wednesday, delivering 21,000 copies to 520 locations throughout Marin County.
Apr 24, 2019

Advice Goddess: I’d Kill Myself Before I Don a Blazer

Gino explains that a person who is seen to be deliberately violating workplace wardrobe norms sends a message that they are so powerful that they can shrug off the potential costs of not following convention. Anthropologists and zoologists call this a costly signal: a trait or behavior that's so wastefully extravagant that only the most mojo-rific people or critters could afford to display it. This suggests to observers that it's more likely to be legit and not false advertising.
Mar 27, 2019

Advice Goddess: My Friends Don’t Understand the Pressure on Straight, Single Women

Explain that you want their advice on your appearance only if you ask for it. You could also ask them to be supportive of you even if they aren't on board with the steps you're taking, simply on the grounds that you're trying to improve yourself and go after what you want. It's nice when your photo on a dating site makes some man reminisce about a classic beauty from his youth, but not when it's his grandma's prized Hermes alligator clutch.
Feb 13, 2019

Advice Goddess: Am I a Magnet for Guys with Mommy Issues?

I am almost 50 but look much younger, and I'm noticing that a number of the guys who are pursuing me are in their early 30s. I'm flattered but not really interested, as I want to get married again and I'm thinking that these guys are too young to consider that and probably want to have babies. Am I a magnet for guys with mommy issues? What gives?
Feb 6, 2019

Advice Goddess: Are Guys Cool with Cosmetic Surgery in General?

However, though men evolved to prioritize looks in a woman, it's obviously not all they value, especially when they're hoping to get into a relationship. So these cosmetically and surgically redeveloped features may catch a man's eye, but then, mentally, he may take a step back
Dec 12, 2018

Advice Goddess: Is It OK to Be Done with Dating?

I'm a 57-year-old twice-divorced man. Though I never wanted to get to a point where romance wouldn't be in my big picture, I'm feeling done with it. I've replaced dating and getting married again with gourmet cooking for one. I'm really enjoying it, but it worries me. Is it okay to be done?
Nov 28, 2018

Advice Goddess: Should Addicts Date ‘Normies?’

Finally, because you've probably done serious soul-searching and character correction in getting and staying sober, a man who's a good match for you is probably one who's taken some hard looks at himself and worked to remodel where necessary. Ideally, he'll help you feel comfortable opening up to him by being open about his own current and former shortcomings.
Aug 8, 2018

Advice Goddess: Double Standard, Much?

Women, on the other hand, evolved to compete for status with other women by pairing up with the most high-status man they can get. Though we're living in modern times, we're still driven by Stone Age psychology. In ancestral times, a woman's partner's status would have been a life-or-death issue, affecting the level of eats, housing and protection she had for herself and her children.
Jul 4, 2018

Advice Goddess: How Do I Move On From Getting Ghosted?

It's hard on the ego to learn why somebody's leaving you, but it beats needing a Ouija board. It's the mystery that's causing the problem. Typically, when rotten things happen to us, our feel-bad emotions rise up--driving us to take a wiser course of action the next time so we'll keep those bad feelings from popping by again.

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