What do you get when you combine offbeat tap dancing, exaggerated Broadway arm gestures and over-the-top facial expressions and mix it in a 30-something-year-old at a bar with an open microphone? That’s right! A karaoke hog that over-performs the shit out of songs the rest of the bar could care less about. At some point, you have to let go of your dream of being a star. The harsh truth is that you’re a nine-to-fiver now, in a room full of other nine-to-fivers, and the group of friends you brought with you (clearly it was your idea to karaoke) is formulating any half-assed excuse to get the hell out of here without hurting your feelings. So instead of making this Saturday night about how you should’ve gotten the lead in your community college’s rendition of Les Mis, how about we sing off-key in solidarity? Let’s just drink to how we all were supposed to be something else and pick a number the rest of us can sing along with like Billy Joel’s “Piano Man” so maybe we can forget about life for a while?
I Saw You is an anonymous “man on the street” column. Email your rants and raves about co-workers or any badly behaving citizens to [email protected], or send to 380 S. First St, San Jose, 95113. Submissions should stick to about 100 words.