I get that you’re into some weird shit, but I never asked to hear about it. So, I don’t understand why you feel compelled to send me unsolicited text messages looping me into your fucked-up sex life. Like, that’s cool that you enjoy a good romp with your friendly neighborhood courtesans, but I find your invitations to join you on said libertine ventures just a tad inappropriate. What have I ever done to make you think I’d appreciate the invite? While I commend you for at least asking if I’d be interested in fulfilling your voyeur fantasy, consider my answer from now on the same in perpetuity: hard pass.
I Saw You is an anonymous “man on the street” column. Email your rants and raves about co-workers or any badly behaving citizens to iS*****@*******ws.com, or send to 380 S. First St, San Jose, 95113. Submissions should stick to about 100 words.
