I Saw You: Hella Woke, Though

It’s crowded in this trendy bar, filled with trendy millennials that Lime scootered in droves from their tech campuses for the warm social climate and happy hour prices. Tech money is what you need to buy drinks around here, I suppose? Sixteen bucks for an old-fashioned? No, thanks. I’ll just have a Sierra Nevada, and even that’s $9! But some of the interactions you witness might be priceless. “Yes! I’m from Boston,” said this young blond man with indignation, “and we don’t pronounce it ‘re-TAW-ded!’ In fact, I don’t say that word at all because I’m progressive.” “Lighten up, Kristin. I was just joking,” said her coworker, who just blew his chance with Kristin. “Well, it’s not funny, Jacob,“ Kristin replied. Enter Jacob’s engineer friend from a different tech company. “Hey, Jacob! What’s up, man?!” “Hey, Riaz. This is my coworker Kristin,” introduced Jacob. “Nice to meet you!” Kristin said excitedly. “Has anyone ever told you that you look exactly like Aziz Ansari?! I think it’s your skin tone and eyebrows!” “Actually, no,” replied Riaz. “Because I look nothing like Aziz Ansari. I’m not even Indian. I’m Pakistani.” Sometimes you’re not really woke like you claim to be.

I Saw You is an anonymous “man on the street” column. Email your rants and raves about co-workers or any badly behaving citizens to iS*****@*******ws.com, or send to 380 S. First St, San Jose, 95113. Submissions should stick to about 100 words.

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