The Martian.

OCTOBER

Hella Shigella

Some 200 or so diners at a downtown seafood eatery took home more than just leftovers. Public health officials traced an outbreak of the bacterial infection Shigella to Mariscos San Juan Restaurant No. 3 in San Jose. Health inspectors never did find a “patient zero,” but if we were playing Clue we’d probably look somewhere in the kitchen.

Wow, these schmucks

Mark Zuckerberg purchased himself a lawsuit when he bought out a real estate developer’s option to build a 9,600-square foot house overlooking his master bedroom. Mircea Voskerician sued the Facebook CEO after he failed to hook him up with his rich and powerful social network, which he allegedly promised as part of negotiations. Zuck did generously offer his celebrity to drive the price down, and his financial adviser advised his scheduler to locate the meeting at Facebook’s offices. “WE are trying to ‘wow’ these schmucks so they will accept an offer for the home that is reasonable,” he wrote. “The plan is to have (Zuckerberg) spend 15 minutes with them, make them feel special etc. Perhaps you can prepare 2 goodie bags as well.” In October, Judge Patricia Lucas allowed the lawsuit to continue.

Alleged cat killer caught

SA former San Jose policeman’s son, Robert Farmer, was found sleeping in his car with evidence linking him to the disappearance of cats across south San Jose.

Dumb monkey

Former Santa Clara County firefighter Daniel Clark sued CalFire for firing him after he wore a gorilla mask while flying a helicopter during a Halloween 2013 training exercise.

Martian mania

When he started writing episodic blog installments of what would eventually become The Martian, self-described “space nerd” Andy Weir just wanted to explore how an astronaut stranded on Mars might survive. He certainly didn’t imagine it would end up being turned into a box office smash starring Matt Damon and directed by Ridley Scott. “It’s been a wild ride,” Weir told Metro in the fall.

‘Hotline’ meme

Toronto rapper and R&B singer Drake broke the Internet with his grandpa-esque dance moves in the video for “Hotline Bling.” Within a week, YouTubers all over had paired the clip with everything from “It’s Not Unusual” to the Frasier theme song, and even had the former Degrassi star throwing sliced pepperonis on a pie and swinging a virtual tennis racket.

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